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5 Super Powers You Can Have Today

Everybody wants superpowers, from the simple innocence of a child yearning for flight to the sad perversion of the Amish man praying for x-ray vision powerful enough to peep a lady’s calves. We all want to be superhuman, and you can start right now! This is but a sample of some of the currently existing (or soon to be developed) devices that can lend the average man abilities previously relegated to world of comic books.

Super Speed

super speed 5 Super Powers You Can Have TodayLeg amputees, if not wheelchair-bound, are often left struggling with awkward prosthetics, canes, and crutches. But now, with the aid of newly developed super-legs, even double amputees can run every bit as well as some of the world’s fastest sprinters. This all began in the 2000 paralympics (which I promise is a real thing and not just me being a bastard about wordplay) with a South African man named Oscar Pistorius who became the first amputee to complete the 200-meter dash in under 22 seconds, beating the previous world record, held by one Brian Frasure.

But there is some controversy over the legs’ use. While they only put out a 95% return of force as compared to the normal human legs’ 200% return, the running prosthetics also give the user a springing gait and increased stride distance, which could lend them an unfair advantage as well as a jaunty disposition. Considering that this story took place in the ancient days of the year of our lord, 2000, and the fact that the legs have since gone through countless permutations by a myriad of companies, many designs endow abilities well beyond typical human capacity. But there is a great tragedy being overlooked in this story: Brian Frasure, the previous world record holder, actually helped design these prosthetic carbon-fiber feet, and he was the one who gave them to Pistorius…who promptly proceeded to wipe Frasure from the record books with them.
The poor bastard. He’s probably working on a time machine right now, to prevent himself from ever building these legs. If so, knowing his track record, he will most likely be thwarted when somebody inevitably uses that time machine to steal his plans and then invent it before him. He will die as he lived, crippled (by irony.)
Bullet Proff

bullet proff 5 Super Powers You Can Have Today

D3O (d-3-o) is an exciting new development in bulletproofing material and not, as it sounds, a generic brand version of a Star Wars robot. Or rather, it’s an impact proof material which, in conjunction with already existing bulletproof materials, could provide true invulnerability to most gunshot wounds. As it stands now, you can survive many gunshot wounds with traditional Kevlar, but are likely to feel pretty poor afterwords, as the distributed force causes fleshwounds, broken bones and large concentric bruises – like getting your ass beat by the atmosphere. Oftentimes the impact from surviving a gunshot will temporarily knock the victim unconscious as well, leaving them vulnerable with a guy that has already made his feelings clear through the administration of bullets.
But D3O is set to stop that: It works kind of like cornstarch -iIt starts off as gel, but gets proportionally harder when more force is exerted on it (the dick joke here is just too easy, I have my standards.) When soft, the substance allows for greater flexure, but when rigid can reduce the strength of a bullet impact by more than half. And that’s what she said (I hate myself.)

The UK Ministry of Defense has already commissioned body and head armor using the new substance, obviously seeing the potential for better protection… or just because it looks really, really fun to grab. We’re talking bubble-wrap levels of tactile stimulation here, people.

invisibility 5 Super Powers You Can Have Today

Scientists are getting damn close to inventing a true invisibility cloak. Previous efforts, like the one pictured before – while still scarily advanced – are nonetheless always slightly inaccurate, because they rely on a camera/projector technique. Recently, a paper published in the March 2009 issue of SIAM Review collected all that we currently know about the method of invisibility, and it turns out it’s a lot.

We can not only render things invisible in theory by bending light waves around an object, but have even progressed so far as to be developing the metamaterials needed to bring the theory to life.
So, while it’s incredibly close but currently theoretical in the private sector, who’s to say that better-funded government scientists don’t already have a secret working prototype? How would you know, after all? They could be there right now…they could be….right…BEHIND YOU! Nah, I’m just kidding. Why would they be behind you? They’re invisible, after all. They’re probably right in front of you. Or in your bathroom, depending on their inherent creepiness and the severity of their pervert-mustache.
Spiderman Webs
spider webs 5 Super Powers You Can Have Today

Some of us, as children, saw Spider-man’s amazing agility and web-swinging prowess and were immediately struck with jealous awe. The desperation even had some of us – who shall remain unnamed and are in no way me – microwaving spiders in an attempt to harness their radioactive bite (all right, so some of us were a little more retarded than others.) Not like Liming Dai, and Zhong Lin Wing, two professors at the universities of Dayton and Georgia Tech, respectively, who invented a material with ten times better proportional sticktion (I swear to god that’s also a word) than a Gecko’s foot.

The true awesomeness of the material, however, is that the nanotube spatulae (basically microscopic hairs) design also allows the material to pull free with a well-placed tug, letting you adhere to virtually any surface as well as quickly remove from that surface for redeployment. Or, as your childhood selves would understand it: Holy Shit! We get to swing on webs now!
So on the upside: Childhood dreams realized! Let’s get to work on making Transformer Best Friends a reality and we’re all set. On the downside? Prepare for a massive Darwinian strike aimed solely at the ADD infested nerd-children of America. Their awkward, flailing flips and mid-air somersaults shall bring a reaping as terrible to endure as it is hilarious to see.

Super Sight

super sight 5 Super Powers You Can Have Today

Rob Spence, a filmmaker from Canada, had his eye wounded in a shooting accident as a child. Presumably furious at its weak character and lazy work ethic, Spence asked doctors to just completely remove it a few years ago, and now he’s getting it replaced with a small camera (of the type normally used for colonoscopies,) a battery, and a wireless transmitter – effectively turning him into a human documentarian capable of recording, broadcasting, and relaying literally everything he sees, as he sees it.
Clearly this is an advantage over other, larger, more expensive filmmaking crews, as it not only gives Scott a completely secret way to record, but makes him basically the world’s smallest, cheapest studio. But god, consider what he’s sacrificed to get here! Not only has he been shot in the eye, but he’s demanded that said eye be removed, years later, and then replaced with something that normally goes up your butt. The man’s got a butt-eye for christ’s sake! Van Gogh may have cut off his ear, but until he replaces it with a dick, Rob Spence wins for craziest gesture in the name of art, hands down.

Russian Wooden Cellphone

Russian Wooden Cellphone Russian Wooden CellphoneIf every country had it’s own type of cellphones, Russian ones could look like this. It could be made of wood – wood is cheap and is available everywhere in Russia, it has simple functions like call and bye, it would be made in Finland cause everyone in Russia knows good phones are made in Finland (like Nokia!) and one additional option is a must – a beer bottle opener from the backside of the phone – very handy!

Wooden Cellphone Russian Wooden Cellphone
Russian Cellphone Russian Wooden Cellphone
Russian Cellphone wood Russian Wooden Cellphone
Wooden Cellphone 2 Russian Wooden Cellphone

Top 10 Inventions of the Middle Ages

The middle ages (5th – 15th Centuries AD), often termed The Dark Ages, were actually a time of great discovery and invention. The Middle ages also saw major advances in technologies that already existed, and the adoption of many Eastern technologies in the West. This is a list of the ten greatest inventions of the Middle Ages (excluding military inventions).

1. The Heavy Plough 5th Century AD

2. Tidal Mills 7th Century AD

3. The Hourglass 9th Century AD

4. Blast Furnace 12th Century AD

5. Liquor 12th Century AD

6. Eyeglasses 13th Century

7. The Mechanical Clock 13th Century AD

8. Spinning Wheel 13th Century AD

9. Quarantine 14th Century AD

10. The Printing Press of Gutenberg 15th Century AD

Sources: Wikipedia, Britannica


4 Huge Explosions Nobody Could Explain

Tunguska – Thousands of square kilometres of trees were burned

In the early morning of 30 June, 1908, witnesses told of a gigantic explosion and blinding flash. Thousands of square kilometres of trees were burned and flattened.
Scientists have always suspected that an incoming comet or asteroid lay behind the event – but no impact crater was ever discovered and no expedition to the area has ever found any large fragments of an extraterrestrial object.

The explosion, equivalent to 10-15 million tonnes of TNT, occurred over the Siberian forest, near a place known as Tunguska.

A flash fire burned thousands of trees near the impact site. An atmospheric shock wave circled the Earth twice. And, for two days afterwards, there was so much fine dust in the atmosphere that newspapers could be read at night by scattered light in the streets of London, 10,000 km (6,213 miles) away.

Nearly a century later, scientists are still debating what happened at that remote spot. Was it a comet or an asteroid? Some have even speculated that it was a mini-black hole, though there is no evidence of it emerging from the other side of the Earth, as it would have done.

Rad full story at Uphaa

Oops… Lucky Me! 10 Accidental Product Discoveries

If it weren’t for luck, or lucky accidents, none of these products would exist today. The following ten products were all discovered as a result of pure accidents. Where would we be today without some of these great products?

  • 1.

    Potato Chips – Discovered: Saratoga Springs, New York

Chef George Crum made the interesting discovery of potato chips after a customer complained to him about his potato fries being cut way too thick. Being a wise guy he sliced a potato paper thin and then fried it to a crisp. The diner loved it, thus creating the world’s very first potato chip.

  • 2.

    Viagra – Discovered: Merthyr Tydfil, Wales

    99692 2 Oops... Lucky Me! 10 Accidental Product Discoveries

Viagra was discovered by men who were being treated with an erectile dysfunction. It was first discovered in the town of Merthyr Tydfil with the trial medicines they thought could cure the dysfunction. It has since become well known as Viagra, and is used as a male enhancement.

  • 3.

    Silly Putty – Discovered: New York

Silly Putty was discovered in the 1940s by a general electric scientist named James Wright while he was trying to create a synthetic rubber to use for the war. He mixed boric acid and silicon oil and got Silly Putty. Since then it has become one of the world’s most popular toys. One favorite past time includes sticking it on a newspaper and pulling it off to reveal the imprint of the comic.

  • 4.

    LSD – Discovered: Switzerland

LSD was discovered by a Swiss chemist named Albert Hoffman. It was the world’s first acid hit. The year was 1943, and he had been working with a chemical called lysergic acid diethylamide. The initial reason for his research was related to childbirth. After the first try he attempted even a larger dose of it and made another discovery, the bad trip.

  • 5.

    Microwave Ovens – Discovered: Massachusetts

Microwave Ovens were discovered in 1946 when a magnetron melted a candy bar in Raytheon engineer Percy Spencer’s pocket. Microwave emitters powered the Allies radar in WWII.

  • 6.

    Penicillin – Discovered: Scotland

    99692 6 Oops... Lucky Me! 10 Accidental Product Discoveries

A Scottish scientist named Alexander Fleming was looking into a cure for the flu in 1928 when he noticed that a blue-green mold had infected one of his Petri dishes, and it had killed the staphylococcus bacteria that had been growing in it. The world’s most effective cure was actually discovered due to a contamination in the lab. What a unique coincidence!

  • 7.

    X-Rays – Discovered: Germany

X-rays were discovered in the 19th century by several scientists toying with penetrating rays that were emitted when electrons struck a metal target. It wasn’t fully workable until 1895 when a German scientist named Wilhelm Röntgen tried sticking different objects in front of the radiation and saw the bones on his hand projected onto the wall behind him.

  • 8.

    Artificial Sweeteners – Discovered: Illinois; Maryland; Nebraska

Artificial sweeteners were discovered in much the same way as penicillin. Three of them, Saccharin, Cyclamate, and Aspartame were all discovered in a one hundred year time period, and all by scientists who forgot to wash their hands after an experiment.
  • 9.

    Brandy – Discovered: The Seven Seas

Brandy was created by wine merchants during the medieval time period by boiling the water out of wine so that their cargo would stay fresh and take up less space when being shipped. After a while it was decided to skip the reconstitution stage altogether and brandy was accidentally created .

  • 10.

    Vulcanized Rubber – Discovered: New York

    99692 10 Oops... Lucky Me! 10 Accidental Product Discoveries

When rubber rots, it smells horrible unless it is vulcanized. The ancient Mesoamericans actually had their own variation of the process Charles Goodyear discovered in 1839. He accidentally dropped some rubber-sulfur compound onto a hot stove, creating the first vulcanized rubber.

Nikola Tesla

Don’t ever say Serbia and Croatia never did anything for you. If it wasn’t for Nikola Tesla, you might not be reading this now. Your cell phone would be little more than a paperweight, and the government wouldn’t have lethal orbiting death ray satellites with which to ensure your safety.

tesla2 1 Nikola Tesla

The young Serbian discovered the principle that drives almost every practical use of electricity today, the rotating magnetic field. The field is what powers generators and all forms of electrical motors. Although the generator had already been discovered, it was Tesla who figured out why it worked.

Tesla’s understanding of the rotating magnetic field led him to develop groundbreaking ideas about how to use alternating current, and one of his first inventions was the induction motor, a powerful device powered by AC. Tesla had big dreams of the mad scientist variety, including flying machines and other more sinister deals. As everyone knows, there’s only so far a mad scientist can go in Croatia, so in 1884, it was off to America! [Read more…]

Extraterrestrial Found in California Duck?

O n Sunday, May 21, 2006 an adult male mallard was brought to the International Bird Rescue Research Center (IBRRC), with what appeared to be a broken wing. Since 1971, the IBRRC has been rescuing birds from the devastating effects of oil spills around the world. Marie Travers, assistant manager of the center, radiographed the mallard and was immediately shocked by what was revealed on the x-ray. A very clear image of what appeared to be the face, or head, of an extraterrestrial alien was in the bird’s stomach.

duck alien face Extraterrestrial Found in California Duck?
Blown up: Alien face?
duck alien xray sm Extraterrestrial Found in California Duck?Alien duck xray
Help IBRRC and bid on this unusual x-ray image online via eBay.
The IBRRC staff discussed if an alien life form was either consumed by or trying to communicate with the people of Earth through the duck, because
the center
is located in an area of California known for its mysterious crop circles.

Karen Benzel, Public Affairs Director for IBRRC noted that the symmetry of the alien’s face is perfect, with an intense grimace, as if it was in anguish after being eaten. “Since aliens are notoriously short, reports are they are usually no more then 3-feet tall, we initially thought the small proportions of the face meant the duck had consumed a juvenile extraterrestrial being,” Benzel quipped. “We immediately knew this was something we had never seen before in our 35 year history.”

alien xray full Extraterrestrial Found in California Duck?Full x-ray – The radiograph measures 17″ x 14″ and is of a mallard duck.

But, is it the face or head of an alien? Regrettably, IBRRC reports the duck succumbed to its injuries and passed away quickly, quietly, and peacefully after the x-rays were taken, and not from the alien bursting through the duck’s chest in classic gory Hollywood style. Was it an alien channeling through the duck or an anomaly similar to the “Face on Mars,” discovered by the Viking Lander when it orbited the Red Planet in 1976? No one knows. What is known is the one-of-a-kind x-ray, which measures 17” x 14”, will be sold on eBay along with a certificate of authenticity. All of the proceeds will go towards funding IBRRC’s rehabilitation programs. The center is also selling t-shirts with the alien image.
Jay Holcomb, Director of IBRRC, states “IBRRC is a 501c3 non-profit and donations fund our wildlife rehabilitation programs. Our Alien in the Duck X-Ray will surely garner a significant amount of interest, just like the NunBun™, and the Madonna in the Cheese Toast, which sold on eBay for a staggering amount of money.” The auction ened on Sunday, June 4, 2006 at 3 p.m. PST.
Holcomb continues, “Proceeds from the sale of this one-of-a-kind x-ray will go towards funding our continuing efforts to rescue and rehabilitate oiled, orphaned and injured waterfowl and aquatic birds.”
A necropsy was done by UC Davis veterinarians and showed the stomach had some grain in it, but no alien.
Established in 1971, IBRRC is the world’s leading first responder bird rescue organization and has saved countless birds from the devastating effects of hundreds of oil spills, including the Exxon Valdez, Apex Houston and MV Treasure disasters.
The IBRRC manages two centers in California, one located in Cordelia/Fairfield next to Suisun Marsh along the San Francisco Bay and the other in San Pedro, near Los Angeles Harbor. IBRRC and the UC Davis Wildlife Health Center work cooperatively helping birds in need of special care.
For more information about IBRRC programs or to make a donation or to buy an Alien in the Duck t-shirt!

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