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How to spot an atheist at a wedding

How do you know he isn’t keeping an eye out for athiests? Or maybe he prays with his eyes open?
3223754676 f3cdb19efe b How to spot an atheist at a wedding
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Exorcism – The Facts

The Laity and Deliverance

HOW DO DELIVERANCE PRAYERS DIFFER FROM EXORCISM PRAYERS?

Today solemn exorcism is limited to the priest who prays in the name of the church. There are three requirements in order for this rite to be performed; the person must be possessed, a priest must perform the exorcism, and finally an exorcism could only be performed with the permission of the bishop (see signs of possession).

With private exorcism a lay-person or religious can pray in his/her own name (not in the name of the church). What this means is the laity cannot use the Roman Ritual of Exorcism to pray in the name of the church.

HOW DO EVIL SPIRITS ENTER US?

Evil spirits enter us through many ways as indicated in the examples below.

Innocent Victim :

* In some cases, evil spirits enter an innocent victim. The victim may be an unborn baby who is cursed from the mother’s womb. The curse can be from a jealous relative, friend, enemy, or even the child’s own parents.
* Innocent victims may also include children who are not loved, who are mistreated or abused or rejection by other children, siblings, parents, etc. The abuse can range from sexual abuse, mental abuse, or physical abuse.

Those who Choose Evil:

In other cases, an evil spirit may enter us because of involvement in evil practices such as the occult, The occult is any practice that involves ceremonies, rituals, chants, magic, or activities that are obviously not God centered. These activities or rituals can change the course of nature, the the lives of those who are involved in such practices, and of course, the innocent victims.

* The Ouija board is a popular occult board game and there is also Dungeons and Dragons. Satan’s main target in Dungeons and Dragons game is our youth. With Dungeons and Dragons, the most powerful and successful players are those who use magic. There is a Dungeons Master Guide that even teaches new beginners how to communicate with the dead, cast spells, and learn to chant.
* The use of magic revolves around evil spirits, psychic abilities and contacting spirits. Magic is a power that does not involve God. It is a power that is derived from such things as voodoo, sorcery, primitive religions and Satanism. Most witches who use magic swear that they do not worship Satan but worship the gods and goddesses of nature (The gods and goddesses of nature are hardly Jesus Christ! Of course they worship Satan! Do not let someone who practices this occult tell you otherwise!). Many of these individuals are unknown because they blend in quite well. They can be found attending church services in every denomination and they practice their magic on the side. If someone tells you white magic is ok–don’t believe them!!
* Use of new age tools such as crystals, divination, astrology, tarot cards, crystal balls, reincarnation, pendulums, Yoga, Transcendental Meditation
* Those who make a pact with Satan or attend Satanic services or rituals.
* Going to Séances, fortune tellers, Horoscopes, or spiritualist meetings for the purpose of contact the dead.
* Those who use alcohol or mind changing drugs such as LSD, cocaine, marijuana
* Sex out of wedlock, active homosexuals, masturbation, adultery
* Those who have an abortion
* Those who try to commit suicidal or have suicidal tendencies. [Read more…]

Mind Control

Most of human history has been a series of efforts by some humans to control what other humans think. When this effort doesn’t take the form of a dominant organized Religion, we call it “mind control” and officially designate it as “bad.”

Cults and Secret Societies have used simple brainwashing techniques for as long as anyone can remember.

mindmesmergd3 Mind Control

The word “assassin,” for instance, is Arabic for “user of hashish.” The original assassins were an 11th Century Islamic cult of killers called the Nizari, who were promised the glories of martydom (not unlike their modern equivalents). Their leader offered a preview of the paradise to come, visions allegedly delivered via large doses of hash. In India, highly secretive cults flourished for centuries in the names of some of the more violent deities such as Kali. [Read more…]

Secret Archives of the Vatican

vaticansecret7 Secret Archives of the Vatican

You would think that the Vatican’s Secret Archives would be some dumb conspiracy theory. I mean, it sounds ridiculous. The Vatican’s Secret Archives. Let it roll off your tongue. Surely, we’re into serious conspiracy weirdness here.

Except, of course, that there really is such a thing. And it’s pretty much exactly what you think it is.

There are a lot of reasons for an organization like the Catholic Church to have Secret Archives. After all, they’ve been in the conspiracy business for millennia longer than Majestic-12. They’ve been in the disinformation business for about 18 times as long as Donald Rumsfeld has been alive. They were taking secret vows when the Masons were just a bunch of architects. And they have more to hide that Richard M. Nixon on his worst day.

The Catholic Church first officially started keeping a library around the fourth century. Formed at the height of the first great heresy craze, the contents of this library included a lot of attacks on heretical branches of Christianity and the documents and scriptures used by these heretical branches (which the Church fathers admitted to having read).

The entire contents of the pre-eighth century archives, presumably including all these fascinating heresies, mysteriously disappeared, according to the Vatican’s official account of the library’s history, “for reasons not entirely known.”

The library was strictly closed to the public until around the 15th century, when the church decided to open its contents for the masses. OK, not all of the contents. Starting in the fourth century, the Catholic Church, in a position of political power for the first time, had been ruthlessly suppressing what it saw as heresy: [Read more…]

Exorcism

In the olden days, primitive people laughably believed that mental illnesses and epileptic fits were caused by evil demons possessing the bodies of humans. They ridiculously treated these maladies with exorcism, a one-time process in which the demons were expelled, allowing the person to return to normal life.

satan4 Exorcism

In these enlightened times of course, there is no “cure” for mental illness, which is now humanely treated with neuron-destroying drugs, involuntary commitment, neverending codependency with psychoanalysts and intermittent lifelong bouts of hospitalization with other raving lunatics. Thank God for progress!

Exorcism is one of the most widespread practices in human history. Almost every known religion has some context in which possession is considered possible, although the interpretation of such possession can vary widely. Various religions, such the ancient Greeks and practitioners of Voudoun (or “voodoo,” if you’re a neanderthal, non-PC bastard), actually embrace possession as part of their religious rituals. The difference in voudoun, of course, is that the possessing spirit (known as a loa) politely and considerately leaves at the end of the ceremony, with the possessed person’s body in pretty much the same shape as he or she left it.

When an invading spirit is not so polite and considerate as a loa, exorcism is called for. [Read more…]

Real Story about Lucifer

Story of Lucifer lucifer3 Real Story about Lucifer His OriginTo find the origin of Lucifer, we turn to the Old Testament. In the Hebrew, the name Lucifer is translated from the Hebrew word “helel,” which means brightness. This designation, referring to Lucifer, is the rendering of the “morning star” or “star of the morning” or “bright star” which is presented in Isaiah. “How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit on the mount of assembly on the heights of Zaphon; I will ascend to the tops of the clouds, I will make myself like the Most High’” (Isaiah 14:12-14, NIV). The context of this passage is a referral to the king of Babylon as presented in his pride, splendor and fall. However, it is to the power behind the evil Babylonian king that this is actually addressed. No mortal king would claim that his throne was above that of God or that he was like the Most High. The power behind the evil Babylonian king is Lucifer, Son of the Morning. [Read more…]

Hell – The Ultimate Deterrent

Once upon a time, there was the world, and it was good. Then peophell1 Hell   The Ultimate Deterrent le got all pissed off about everything, and there was violence and sin, and that was bad. Then people decided they needed a device to stop people from doing so much violence and sin, and there was Hell, and it was good.

Hell is the ultimate deterrent — an eternity of pain and suffering. You can’t come up with a much more brutal retribution than that. The only catch is that the deterrent only works when people a) believe in it, and b) fear it so much that they lay off the violence and sin.

There are a number of problems selling Hell to the public at large. For one thing, eternity is a difficult concept to get your head around. For another, everyone has a different idea about how the cosmos works morally. For Hell to succeed, it has to be horrific beyond belief, and ideally it needs to be drilled into the heads of children at a very early age, so that the fear will stick even after the intellect has grown past the concept.

The earliest concepts of Hell were less punitive than nihilistic. Early humans had to come to terms with the concept of death, and a number of ideas were developed along these lines.

The most optimistic viewpoint was reincarnation, present in many cultures around the world, but the ancient Jews were not the most optimistic lot, so they added a layer of unpleasantness to the Great Wheel of Life.

Before being reincarnated, they believed, the soul made a pit stop in Sheol, a depressing underground place where every day is Monday, and it always looks like it’s just about to rain but it never quite does. No eternal pit of fire, but the good times are definitely over. Some Jewish sects believed that reincarnation came after a spell in Sheol, others just kind of left souls there to rot (or whatever souls do).
Other early religions hell2 Hell   The Ultimate Deterrent had various concepts of a bad place where dead people hang out. The ancient Hindus believed in Hell before switching over to reincarnation. Egyptians believed in an underworld, where souls traveled through trials before returning to their bodies. The Romans and Greeks shared a version of Hell called Hades, which heavily influenced later renditions. But the Judeo-Christian Hell was the one that really stuck.

The Jewish Sheol eventually evolved into Gehenna, which roughly equates to purgatory — a place where souls are punished or cleansed of their sins — but the concept was never “proven” as an established teaching, leaving the matter of an afterlife largely to individual believers.

The coming of the Christians changed all that. When Jesus Christ arrived on the scene, a new set of contradictions arose. On the one hand, Jesus taught of God as a loving father figure, in sharp contrast to the vengeful God of the Old Testament. But love and hate are a double-edged sword. Although the Christian God had a whole lotta love on hand for believers, sinners were condemned to the fiery pit.

As the Christian church became more complicated, so too did the vision of Hell. By the middle ages, Hell was a rather well-defined place. The ultimate map of Hell was drafted by Dante in his epic poem Inferno, part of his inappropriately named “Divine Comedy.”

Dante famously divided Hell into nine concentric circles of increasing nastiness, behind a gate with the logo “Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here”:

  • Circle One: Almost every student struggling through a Catholic school education inevitably arrives at the theological question: What happens to innocent people who are not baptized through no fault of their own? The Church invented “limbo” for this concept; Dante made it the first circle of Hell, a sort of Hell Lite. The first circle of Hell offers a kinder, gentler repose for noble pagans born before Christ and other generally cool historical figures who happen not to be Christians, such as Homer, Ovid, Socrates and presumably figures like Ghandi and maybe Malcolm X. Captives in the First Circle of Hell were subjected mostly to the ravages of generalized anxiety disorder without the benefit of Paxil but with all the side effects (nausea, asthenia, constipation, infection, dry mouth, yawn, diarrhea, sweating, decreased appetite, sleepiness, dizziness, insomnia, tremor, nervousness, and sexual side effects).hellmap2 Hell   The Ultimate Deterrent
  • Circle Two: Lust! As the most understandable of the major sins, lust only makes circle two of Hell, where lustful lovers are tossed about by stormy winds and forbidden from making wild monkey love. It’s unclear whether they’re allowed to jerk off. Home to Cleopatra, Tristan and Isolde, the Marquis de Sade and eventually Larry Flynt.
  • Circle Three: Gluttons live here, and are punished for their gluttony by being subjected to bad weather. Seasonal affective disorder is a bitch! There’s also a big dog. Captives include Chris Farley and Divine.
  • Circle Four: You don’t hear a lot about avarice these days, but the medieval mindset classified it as a major sin. The greedy are condemned here to working for the man every night and day, doing pointless and menial tasks. Future residents include Bill Gates and Martha Stewart.
  • Circle Five: The angry spend eternity duking it out here, naked in a vast river of jello (or possibly water, my Italian is a bit rusty). Look for Sean Penn, Dick Cheney and Jerry Falwell.
  • Circle Six: This circle of Hell is filled with “heretics,” by which Dante mostly means Muslims (though to be fair, Hell has several Popes in residence as well). This circle would technically also include figures like Aleister Crowley, Jack Parsons, Martin Luther and Rael. Rumor has it John Ashcroft is planning random sweeps through the Sixth Circle in search of Terrorists. Everyone in the Sixth Circle is just an ordinary guy, BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE.
  • Circle Seven: Ah, violence! You gotta love violence! Dante classified three kinds of violence — against self, against others and against God. Inhabitants spotted by Dante included Attila the Hun and Alexander the Great. Since this category includes warmongers, George W Bush is a potential future inmate. Dante’s definition of “violence against God” inexplicably includes sodomy, which he classes as a more serious crime than murder, so the Seventh Circle could potentially host Robert Mapplethorpe and Oscar Wilde, who would be flayed on burning sands, while Adolf Hitler would merely be turned into a tree for the crime of Suicide. There is no justice.
  • Circle Eight: If the Shell3 Hell   The Ultimate Deterrent eventh Circle offended your sensibilities, the Eighth is simply baffling. In the next worst circle of Hell, the sufferings of the damned would be inflicted on those who have committed the following sins (all of which are deemed more evil than murder and warmongering). In order of increasing severity: Pandering, flattery, hypocrisy, fortune telling, theft, giving bad advice, instigating trouble, alchemy, impersonation, counterfeiting, lying, and being a giant.
  • Circle Nine: The Ninth Circle is for betrayers of every stripe, with all the big names in betraying thoroughly represented. Judas, Brutus, Cassius, Benedict Arnold, John Wayne Bobbit, Big Pussy from the Sopranos, Cain, Lando Calrissian, Jim Bakker, Richard M. Nixon, the Rosenbergs, Randy Savage, and finally, frozen in hell’s center, Satan himself. Judas, Cassius and Brutus are actually being eternally chewed by Satan, who has an intense dislike for Shakespearean characters.

In his play “No Exit,” Jean Paul Sartre said simply that “hell is other people,” while Pat Benatar claims “hell is for children.” This no doubt provides a meaningful highlight to some of the major differences between Americans, Italians and the French. Just don’t ask what.

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