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Ten Most Dangerous Drugs

According to a study published  in The Lancet, alcohol and tobacco rankamong the ten most dangerous substances used by humans. Both alcohol and tobacco have been assessed to be more dangerous than illegal drugs like marijuana or ecstasy.

heroin Ten Most Dangerous Drugs

The following three factors were considered in ranking the harmfulness of each drug that was evaluated:

  • Physical harm to the user
  • Addictive potential of the drug
  • The drug’s overall impact on society

Psychiatrists who specialize in treating addictive behavior and legal or police officials with scientific or medical expertise were asked to assign a score to each of the three factors listed above for each drug that was evaluated in this study. All told, 20 different drugs were evaluated, including cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, amphetamines, and LSD.

Ranked from most to least dangerous, the ten most dangerous substances were deemed to be:

  1. Heroin – popular street names include smack, skag, and junk.
  2. Cocaine – often referred to as snow, flake, coke, and blow.
  3. Barbiturates – popular slang names include yellow jackets, reds, blues, Amy’s, and rainbows.
  4. Street Methadone
  5. Alcohol
  6. Ketamine – a powerful hallucinogen, often referred to as Special K.
  7. Benzodiazepines – a family of sedative drugs.
  8. Amphetamines – known as greenies among baseball players.
  9. Tobacco
  10. Buprenorphine – also called bupe or subbies.

The remaining drugs that were assessed in this study ranked as follows:

  1. Cannabis – includes marijuana.
  2. Solvents – volatile substances that can be inhaled, such as glue, nail polish remover, paints, hair spray, and lighter fuel (gas).
  3. 4-MTA – is a derivative of amphetamine and has similar effects to ecstasy.
  4. LSD
  5. Methylphenidate – central nervous system stimulant, commonly sold as ritalin.
  6. Anabolic steroids
  7. GHB – short for Gamma hydroxybutyrate, a powerful central nervous system depressant, most commonly known as the date rape drug.
  8. Ecstasy
  9. Alkyl nitrates – group of drugs commonly referred to as poppers.
  10. Khat – an amphetamine-like stimulant.

It is estimated that tobacco causes 40 percent of all hospital illnesses, while alcohol is involved in more than 50 percent of all visits to hospital emergency rooms. In light of these statistics, the authors of this study question why alcohol and tobacco are legal to use within current drug policies for Britain and the United States, while less harmful drugs like ecstasy and LSD are deemed illegal to use.

The bottom line: alcohol and tobacco are two of the most dangerous substances that you can expose yourself to on a regular basis. In terms of overall potential to cause harm, if used regularly, alcohol and tobacco belong in the same category as other recreational drugs like cocaine and heroin.

Note: To receive valuable tips on how to use your food and lifestyle choices to promote steady cleansing and detoxification of your blood and tissues, please feel free to sign up for our free natural health newsletter below.

Similarities in different Disney cartoons

Well there might be a conspiracy hidden somewhere in here. I’ve seen the subliminal messages in Disney cartoons, and have heard that Disney movies were used for mind control in the MK-ULTRA project.

This video is identical scenes from couple different movies. Maybe it has something to do with repitition, secret codes hidden at the same places in different movies… maybe the filmmakers got lazy and copied the EXACT scene from another movie?!?

Interested in some more???

Lifestyles of the Animated and High

When people think of cartoon characters getting high, the conversation always turns to Shaggy of Scooby-Doo. And why not? He talks to a dog. He’s paranoid that he’s being chased by ghosts. He has a perpetual box of Scooby Snacks when the munchies hit.
1 shaggy Lifestyles of the Animated and High

But Shaggy’s not the only animated guy toking up in the back seat of the Mystery Machine. Check out the secret drug addictions of these ten cartoon characters.

Defendant: Yogi Bear

Drug of Choice: Marijuana

2 yogi 220x300 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

Shaggy’s not the only one indulging in a spliff. Perhaps Yogi grows his own in Jellystone National Park. An omnipresent yearning for pic-a-nic baskets and Ranger Smith paranoia are both signs of the pot smoker. Plus his mention that he’s “smarter than the average bear” is a version of the “I swear, I’m not drunk” tell.

Defendant: Underdog

Drug of Choice: Anabolic steroids

3 underdog Lifestyles of the Animated and High

He’s a mild-mannered Shoeshine Boy – until Polly Purebred’s in trouble. Then he pops an “Underdog Super Energy Pill” and he morphs into a canine version of Superman. In the mid-to-late 80s, they edited the pill-popping scenes out. That way no one would know what steroids are!

Defendant: Sherman (of Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman)

Drug of Choice: LSD

4 sherman 300x200 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

Sherman is “owned” by a “genius dog” named “Mr. Peabody” and takes “trips” in the “WABAC machine” that go “back in time.” ‘Nuff said.

Defendant: Wilma Flintstone & Betty Rubble (of The Flintstones)

Drug of Choice: Valium

5 wilma betty 300x221 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

Wilma and Betty are the cave precursors to Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Although Fred and Barney are less douchey than dopey. The only way that they haven’t gone all Bam-Bam on their men has to be a healthy dose of Mother’s Little Helper.

Defendant: Morocco Mole (of The Secret Squirrel Show.)

Drug of Choice: Hashish

6 moroccomole 282x300 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

He’s from Morocco. He’s got beady eyes. And he wears a fez but no pants?

Defendant: Jem (of Jem and the Holograms)

Drug of Choice: Ecstasy

7 mjem 300x246 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

When her father died, he left her Synergy, a holographic computer designed to be the “ultimate visual entertainment synthesizer.” I’m sure he left her his happy pills, too. Jem single-handedly introduced rave culture to the tween set.

Defendant: Speedy Gonzalez

Drug of Choice: Crank

8 speedy 234x300 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

This one’s pretty obvious. Although I discovered that Speedy, as well as being a speed freak, was also a pimp. Maybe he was chasing his high some 72-hour weekend as well?

Defendant: Elroy Jetson (of The Jetsons)

Drug of Choice: Ritalin

9 elroy 300x238 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

Brilliant. Focused. Straight-A student. Never gets into trouble. With parents like clueless George and perfectionist Jane, this kid’s gotta be on something.

Defendant: Natasha Fatale (of Rocky & Bullwinkle)

Drug of Choice: Diet pills.

10 natasha 300x196 Lifestyles of the Animated and High

She’s a former model and a past Miss Transylvania who’s managed to keep her figure. All before heroin chic!

Defendant: Tom (of Tom & Jerry)

Drug of Choice: Vicodin

11 cartoontom 300x207 Lifestyles of the Animated and HighHe’s been hit on the head with hammers, with frying pans, with baseball bats. He’s been set on fire, drowned, run over, blown up. Like a feline Timex, this housecat takes a licking and keeps on ticking. What’s his secret? I say liberal doses of Vicodin.

What sort of drugs do you think the characters of your favorite cartoons/comics do?

Top 10 Drug Lords

Offhand, drug lords make for a problematic top 10, as reliable data concerning their operations doesn’t exist, making their “achievements” impossible to verify and subject to all sorts of exaggeration and rumor. However, such legends and modern folklore also present the best criteria by which to rank these kings and queens of the black market; what follows is a list of the top 10 drug lords based on an amalgam of their influence, innovation, notoriety, and legend.


10.“Freeway” Ricky Ross

ricky ross 150x119 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: USA
Clients: The Western United States
Product: Crack cocaine

A major crack distributor during the 1980s, Ross’ operation is alleged to have purchased in excess of 400 kilos of cocaine a week while selling as much as $3 million of crack every day. As a result, some consider him to be solely responsible for the crack cocaine epidemic in the U.S., a claim flatly refuted in 1999 by the U.S. Department of Justice, who acknowledged the mammoth size of his operation, but dismissed any notion that Ross — or any one individual — could conceivably shoulder all the blame.

Downfall: In 1996, Ross was set up by his partner to sell 100 kilos of coke to an undercover DEA agent.

2008 status: Ricky Ross is currently incarcerated in the U.S.

9.Paul Lir Alexander, aka “The Baron of Cocaine”

paul lir alexander 150x150 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: Brazil
Clients: USA
Product: Cocaine

Some early aspects of Alexander’s story — namely his claims of having been trained by the Israeli Mossad — are highly suspect. What is known about him is that he became a major Brazilian coke trafficker before his luck ran out, and he also became a DEA informant. As an informant, he was instrumental in bringing down a number of major traffickers, or — to put it another way — he succeeded in eliminating many of his competitors, as Alexander did not bother to shut down his own operation while ratting out others.

Downfall: Alexander had a habit of double-crossing people, and the DEA didn’t appreciate that.

2008 status: Alexander is currently incarcerated in Brazil.

8.Santiago Luis Polanco Rodriguez, aka “Yayo”

Country of operation: USA
Clients: USA, Jamaica and the Dominican Republic
Product: Crack cocaine

Rodriguez brought crack to the masses by using a more traditional business model than is typically seen in the drug trade. His clever merchandising techniques included weekend discounts, the use of business cards, brand recognition, and distribution to dealers in glassine envelopes (the kind stamp collectors use). In the words of sociologist Robert Jackall, “One has to recognize his particular and peculiar genius even if one doesn’t honor it.”

Downfall: Rodriguez ditched a massive DEA dragnet in 1987, but non-drug-related trouble in the Dominican Republic earned him some prison time.

2008 status: Today, Rodriguez lives lavishly with his wife and children in the Dominican, beyond the reach of U.S. authorities.

7.Felix Mitchell, aka “The Cat”

sab felix mitchel Top 10 Drug Lords

Country of operation: USA
Clients: USA
Product: Heroin, crack cocaine

“Mob 69,” Mitchell’s massive, gang-controlled drug operation, was the first of its kind, and he controlled it in part with a brilliant bit of PR: Sponsoring local athletics and taking children on field trips to zoos and amusement parks. Yet, when he was thrown in prison, a new kind of inner-city violence was born: what had been a tightly controlled monopoly under Mitchell became an unstable battleground in his absence, replete with drive-bys and increased violence between competitors vying for his business.

Downfall: Mitchell’s notoriety made him a target for authorities, earning him a life sentence in Leavenworth.

2008 status: Mitchell was stabbed and killed less than two years into his sentence. His funeral was a spectacle: Rolls Royce limousines followed a horse-drawn carriage bringing his casket through crowded Oakland streets lined with thousands of mourners.

6.Carlos Lehder

carlos lehder 150x150 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: The Bahamas
Clients: USA
Product: Cocaine

Lehder made two significant contributions to the illegal drug trade: 1) He cofounded the Medellin Cartel, possibly  the  most profitable and violent drug cartel in history; 2) He revolutionized the transport and distribution business by upgrading from drug mules to prop planes, flying drugs from Colombia to the U.S. via the Bahamas. In one stroke, he increased volume exponentially; profits — in staggering numbers — inevitably followed.

Downfall: Lehder’s megalomania got the better of him. He commandeered an entire Bahamian island and transformed it into his own untouchable transport headquarters, where an estimated 300 kilos of coke arrived every hour.

2008 status: Lehder is currently incarcerated in the U.S.

5.Jose Gonzalo Rodriguez Gacha

jose gonzalo rodriguez gacha 150x150 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: Colombia
Clients: North, Central & South America, the Caribbean, Western Europe, and possibly Asia.
Product: Cocaine

As a young man, Rodriguez was a hired gun for emerald-mine mobsters, working for notorious coke traffickers like Veronica Rivera de Vargas before moving up to become the Medellin Cartel’s No. 2 man behind Pablo Escobar. He would ultimately amass a fortune in the billions, drawing the attention of Forbes, which put him in their list of global billionaires in 1988.

Gacha was nothing if not tireless, always looking for new, creative trafficking routes from Mexico into the U.S. He is also credited with substantially raising the brutal profile of the Cartel by hiring foreign mercenaries to come to Columbia and train the cartel’s troops in such things as assassination and guerrilla warfare.

Downfall: Increasing violence on behalf of the Cartel, including multiple assassination orders direct from Rodriguez, led to a crackdown on Medellin in the late 1980s.

2008 status: Gacha died in 1989, following a gunfight with Colombian police.

4.Griselda Blanco, aka the “Cocaine Queen of Miami”

griselda blanco 150x150 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: USA
Clients: USA
Product: Cocaine

As the undisputed “Cocaine Queen of Miami,” the brutal, ruthless and probably psychotic Blanco proved a highly effective trafficker for the Medellin Cartel, amassing a personal fortune estimated at $500 million.

She also liked to wear haute couture fashions and loved to smoke crack, but her greatest passion — as well as the source of her enduring legend — was in ordering creative, cold-blooded assassinations, possibly as many as 200, including one failed attempt in which the hitman was instructed to use a bayonet.

Downfall: Blanco’s ruthlessness — which included the shooting death of a 2-year-old — gave DEA agents added incentive to hunt her down. In 1985, she was sentenced to 20 years in prison for trafficking.

Status: Released from prison in 2004 and immediately deported to Columbia, Blanco’s current whereabouts are unknown.

3.Khun Sa, aka “The Opium King”

khun sa 150x150 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: Burma (Myanmar)
Clients: Predominantly the USA
Product: Heroin (opium)

In the mid-1960s, Burmese warlord Khun Sa disappeared into the jungle with an army of 800 men and began to cultivate opium. An entire town sprung up around his operation, and at the height of his power, Khun Sa was the world’s most prolific heroin trafficker, producing as much as three quarters of the world’s supply and regularly running mule trains loaded with heroin through Thailand en route to the U.S. The DEA, which referred to him as a ruthless “Prince of Death,” desperately wanted to bring him to justice and continually offered Burmese officials as much as $2 million to hand him over.

Downfall: In the mid-‘90s, allegedly concerned that officials would in fact turn him over to the U.S., Khun Sa surrendered to the Burmese government, which then steadfastly refused to extradite him.

Status: Khun Sa lived a luxurious life in Rangoon until his death in late 2007.

2.Amado Carrillo Fuentes, aka the ““Lord of the Skies”

amado carrillo fuentes 150x150 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: Mexico
Clients: USA, Mexico, Argentina, and Chile.
Product: Cocaine

Fuentes learned the drug trade by working for Colombians during the cocaine boom, but his first brilliant move was to eschew cash payments. Instead of cash, Amado took his pay in coke and used it to develop his own distribution system. As Colombian cartels buckled under the crackdown of the late 1980s, Fuentes was turning the colossal Juarez Cartel in Mexico into a $30-million-a-day juggernaut — in large part due to his audacious decision to use a fleet of 727s to ship product from Peru, Bolivia and Colombia to Mexico. At his peak, he had Mexico’s top drug enforcement official on his payroll, and his own net worth was believed to be somewhere around $25 billion.

Downfall: Although a sophisticated and diplomatic businessman, Amado’s operation was so huge that he inevitably became the most wanted trafficker in the world.

Status: In 1997, plastic surgeons altering his appearance fatally botched the procedure; those surgeons were later discovered stuffed into oil drums.

1.Pablo Escobar

pablo escobar 150x150 Top 10 Drug LordsCountry of operation: Colombia
Clients: North, Central & South America, the Caribbean, Western Europe, and possibly Asia.
Product: Cocaine

Pablo Escobar was not the most intelligent drug lord, nor was he the most organized or the most innovative. Simply put: He was the most ruthless, and this made all the difference. The head of the Medellin Cartel ran his empire with virtual impunity within Colombia, carrying out a campaign of violence against anyone who dared challenge it, resulting in the assassination of 30 judges, over 400 police officers, and the bombing of Avianca Flight 203 in the mistaken belief that Colombian presidential candidate Gaviria was on board (he wasn’t, but 107 civilians were). Estimates put the Medellin kill toll at over 3,000.

At its peak, Escobar’s cartel is believed to have controlled four-fifths of the world cocaine market, seeing an estimated annual revenue of $30 billion (roughly double the revenue for Oracle between Colombia and the U.S.).

Downfall: Anxious about being extradited to the U.S., Escobar brokered a sweetheart deal with the Colombian movement that put him in the most luxurious prison imaginable, but Escobar couldn’t stay out of trouble and soon he fled the prison.

Status: Pablo Escobar died in 1993 after being hunted down by Colombian and U.S. government forces.

Disturbing photos from Brazilian Prison

As you might know from time to time we put some serious stuff in our issues! Today is not an exception. Below are some photos of the Brazilian prison that leave a mixed impression. On the one hand, the photos are quite professional and therefore interesting to look at. On the other, the reality they depict is very sad!

There are serious issues in regard to abuses of human rights in Brazil. Brazil had a remarkably poor record during the dictatorship of the 1960s, and still has many problems today. These include the use of police brutality, corruption, torture and summary executions by civil and military police and prison authorities. In the recent years, the 1992 Carandiru Massacre is considered the major violation of the human rights in Brazil.

Prisoner violence

Brazil’s prisons are overcrowded and unhealthy, there are now over 300,000 inmates. Beatings, torture and killings by prison guards occur throughout the prison system. Children are abused in the juvenile justice system. According to the Ministry of Justice 13,489 under 18s are in detention. Humans are producing waste, and then smothering other human beings face in their feces until suffocated and dead.

Prison overcrowding results in a prominent occurrence of prison violence and murder as well as frequent revolts and escapes. In order to deal with these problems, prison administrations often divide prison populations according to gang affiliation. According to Global Justice, there have been claims of gang affiliation being assigned.

Living space, food, and cleanliness conditions are inhumane and bribery for privileges and transfers is rampant.

In December 2007, a case of prison gang rape in Pará brought media attention to the condition of human rights in the Brazil prison system.

Summary executions and police violence

Police violence is one of the most internationally recognized human rights abuses in Brazil. The problem of urban violence focuses on the perpetual struggle between police and residents of high crime favelas such as the areas portrayed in City of God. Police response in many parts of Brazil is extremely violent, including summary execution and torture of suspects. According to Global Justice, in 2003, the police killed 1,195 people in the State of Rio de Janeiro alone. In the same year 45 police officers were killed. Police violence is often reacted to by local communities and trafficking groups with demonstrations and violent resistance, causing escalation and multiplying victims. Unofficial estimates show there are over 3000 deaths annually from police violence in Brazil, according to Human Rights Watch. There are constant complaints of racism, abuses, torture, executions and disappearances. Not all states record police killings or keep accurate statistics.

Torture

Torture in Brazil is widespread and systematic according to the ex-UN Special Rapporteur. Occurrence of police torture accompanies murder or effecting intimidation and extortion. Torture has also been widely reported in detention centers and mental institutions.

Agrarian violence and oppression

The agrarian struggle in Brazil is manifold, touching on the topics of deforestation, dam building, eviction, squatting, and wildlife smuggling. The enormous Landless Workers’ Movement in Brazil involves large and migrating homeless populations. Landowners resort to assassins and death squads to drive and intimidate landless populations from their land. Other cases of agrarian human rights violations involve government takings, such as for various hydroelectric operations across Brazil. Wealthy international corporations have enormous bargaining power and often refuse to remunerate displaced populations upon the flooding of their ancestral homes. Further agrarian violence arises from smugglers of exotic animals, wood, and other minerals from extracting contraband from forest or agrarian areas.

Slave Labor and Labor Exploitation

Slavery and labor situations like depression era company towns still exist in remote areas in Brazil like the Amazon (A fictional portrayal of such a town occurs in The Rundown).

“Debt slavery” (where workers are forced to work in order to pay an ever-increasing debt) still exists in some rural areas, though it is illegal and the government actively fights against it

The “debt slavery” is particularly worryingly in large sugar cane farms, since sugar cane is a raw material for Ethanol, a product that the Brazilian government is currently actively encouraging the production and research.

Indigenous violence

As deforestation companies move in to take advantage of the large area of space the Amazon offers, indigenous tribes that live in the forest are attacked or subject to violence. Drugs and diseases are introduced into the tribes because of the people moving in on the terrain. In order to protect the land that is rightly theirs, many indigenous people attack the new arrivals – who fight back – which leads to violence and deaths.

Impunity

In line with the military government’s negotiated impunity upon the return of Brazil to democracy, impunity continues to derail human rights prosecution. Police and prison violence is often covered up or ignored by authorities. Police officers who are imprisoned often serve in privileged security positions inside Brazilian prisons. Brazilian politics are also rife with impunity, continued through dismissal of overzealous officials and pointed bureaucratic oversight.

Violence against human rights defenders

Many human rights defenders who have arisen to oppose human rights violations and their families and friends suffer violence and persecution across Brazil. Telephone death threats are prominent and often followed through by ambush or assassination. Government officials, attorneys, union leaders and even religious leaders have often been targeted, as with Antonio Fernandez Saenz affair. The danger of human rights defense entered the world press with the murder of Dorothy Stang in 2005 and Chico Mendes in 1998.

Sources: Human Rights Watch, Global Justice, Pastoral Land Commission

5 things you didn’t know about police dogs

When trails run cold or drugs can’t be detected by the human eye, police often turn to the noses of their four-legged partners. In these days of DNA testing and high-tech communication, sometimes one of the best tools in law enforcement is man’s best friend

g11e19067846ea92a4ab9c3kp7 5 things you didnt know about police dogs

Inv. Gregory Shaffer, supervisor of the Ontario County Sheriff’s Office K-9 Unit, offered five things the general public might not know about police dogs. The sheriff’s office K-9 Unit was launched in May 1984 with two dogs, Samson and Arek; it now has three full-time working dogs — Frenkie, Scooter and Asta. A fourth dog, Penny, passed away in 2007 and was replaced by another bloodhound, Truman.

1) Police dogs are not meant to be pets: Although trained police dogs live with their designated handlers, they are not like normal house pets, Shaffer said.
“Their disposition is different, their drive is different,” he said. “Police dogs have extremely high drives and are not always the most pleasant dogs to be around.” The best police dogs, Shaffer said, are “very aggressive, very territorial.”

2) Bloodline and breed matter: Bloodhounds, like Penny, are tracking specialists that use their noses to find lost or missing people. Deputy John Peck said a bloodhound once sniffed out vandals that used heavy machinery to cause thousands of dollars in damage to the Canandaigua Tops by following a scent from a discarded beer can. Labradors, like Shaffer’s “partner” Scooter, are good at finding narcotics and accelerants but are weaker at patrol work, like taking down hostile suspects. German shepherds, meanwhile, are well-rounded dogs that can sniff out contraband and fiercely defend their handlers, Shaffer said.

3) Training is paramount and ongoing: Dogs go through two rounds of training at the Onondaga County Sheriff’s Office. There, they learn the basics of bite-work and handler protection. Dogs are also trained to hone in on the scents of 10 different accelerants and four types of drugs (marijuana, cocaine, heroin and amphetamines).

g181190ca6af36dbd207268ps1 5 things you didnt know about police dogs4) Police dogs need to play: It’s an essential part of their training. They’re trained to react to scents in different ways. When they smell drugs, most dogs scratch, dig and try to bite at the item bearing the scent. Bomb-detection dogs are trained to sit, lie down or stare in the direction of whatever they smell. “If they smell an odor, they react in the way they were trained,” Shaffer said. Handlers tdaj gahen reward the animal by letting them play with a toy that has the scent they are trained to detect. “The dogs are trying to play,” Shaffer said. “They want to find their toy.”

5) Retirement can be tough: Like their human partners, years of hard work can take a toll on police dogs, forcing them to retire. Retirement ages and reasons vary for each dog, Shaffer said. His dog, Scooter, will soon retire after about eight years of duty because of a seizure disorder, he said. Judgie, the unit’s last labrador, was on the job for 13 years and was instrumental in a large drug bust just a few weeks before he died of a stroke. When the time comes to hang up their badge, most dogs go to live with their handlers. While they can be fierce when on duty, most dogs mellow with age. “I know a lot of guys who had dogs that were terrors on the street, but when they took them home, they became great house pets,” he said.

The 12 Worst People to Gamble With In Vegas

1 The 12 Worst People to Gamble With In Vegas

Vegas is America’s Tijuana, but without needing to sit on a toilet for 2 days afterwards. Some of the people you meet in Vegas are so shady it can make you feel like the city had been controlled by a bunch of mobsters. Between your pupils never adjusting to the epileptic flashing lights and the shear amount of free booze you consume, you probably never noticed the characters you are losing your life savings with nor how seedy they are. For any serious player who is crazy enough to actually try beating the house, these seedy characters are as annoying as Ray Romano’s voice going through puberty. Here are the 12 Worst People to Gamble With in Vegas.

12.) The Hot Blonde with Massive Boobs at the Blackjack table

Sure she’s better to look at than your 66-year old dealer who has worked the graveyard shift a few years too many, but you can’t expect to be able to make any money with those two massive distractions at the table. You may ask why you should care about making money when there’s more appealing matter to attend to. Well as any Vegas veteran will tell you….There’s a few other venues in Vegas which have about 42 hotter distractions who will attend to you if you make money now. Plus, she’s not going to be as impressed with your stack of $1 chips as you think she is.

3 The 12 Worst People to Gamble With In Vegas

11.) The Guy Who Bets on Red AND Black and then Celebrates Winning 

These are the same people who go up to their room at 2am, drink a few Heinekens from the mini-bar, watch Pulp Friction, only to end up playing some “Solitaire” themselves, and then tell their friends they “scored” in Vegas.

10.) Poker Name Dropper 

This guy knows every obscure poker player in the world and just happens to have played with all of them even though he’s at a $1/$2 No Limit table. I’m sure he’s just trying to build his bankroll back up before he takes on Phil Hellmuth.

9.) The Guy Who’s Been in Vegas for 3 days and Hasn’t Seen his Hotel Room

This guy has stains on his favorite club shirt from one too many drunken trips to the Round Table Buffet at Excaliber. If you couldn’t tell he was on a 3 day bender from the stench of Captain Morgan and of buffet bacon just give him 22 seconds and he’ll tell you. Despite his disheveled appearance he’s still trying to pick up any girl holding a yard glass half filled with a hurricane. Even if he is successful, any girl who can overlook his appearance has a questionable pedigree and….not everything stays in Vegas.

8.) The Guy Who Was “Way Up”

5 The 12 Worst People to Gamble With In Vegas

As soon as you hear “I was way up just 2 hours ago”, you know that’s an amateur. They clearly didn’t ever expect to be up in the first place and just want everyone to know that after 3 hands they briefly were. Now that they believe their skill is not at fault, they can rationalize losing their iPhone fund to bad cards.

7.) The Dice Blower 

Who am I kidding…Who doesn’t love her. You know the saying in craps “It’s good luck for a first-timer to blow on your dice before you shoot”. That saying also doubles as my life mantra.

6.) The Person Who has to Ask the Dealer What They would Do

This guy watched 21 on the plane, and is now a card counting guru. Yet the guru has a 16, the dealer is showing a 5 and they still have to ask what the odds are. And you have to sit through the dealer breaking it down for them in hopes that the card counting savant has enough chips left over to tip them on the next rotation.

5.) Catatonic Drunks 

This is exactly where the casino wants you. Drunk enough to take the dealer’s bust card, yet capable enough to Let It Ride. It’s the casino’s magic formula: Free drinks, no sleep and an ATM never more than a 37-second stumble away. Unfortunately, there’s nothing more painful than waiting on this guy to realize it’s his bust card to take.

4.) “Let’s Go to the Strip Club” Guy

He’s best dealt with by letting him know that it’s 11am, you were just there 5 hours ago, and to give it a rest. Besides, at this hour the strippers working there are the Tara Reid squad ….botched boob jobs and a nickel-a-day coke habits.

3.) The Statistician
This Monday morning quarterback lets you know exactly what the odds dictate that you should have done on that last hand since you didn’t use your fraction of a percent advantage. Yet, they still don’t have the rocks to call an all-in with their 51% advantage.

2) Silent Asian Assassin

You’ve seen the 40 year old Asian woman who doesn’t say a word for hours, but has a chip stack that looks like the skyline of NYC. No one is sure how she got so many…but we can only assume that she learned her mastery in a Shaolin temple.

12 The 12 Worst People to Gamble With In Vegas

1.) The Poor Friend

He shows up with $60 and expects that to last him 3 days, including meals. He never bets after 1pm, when the table limits go above $5, and you most likely will find him at O’Shea’s, basking in the glory of the $2 blackjack tables and $1 hot dogs.

Bonus Feature: How to become one of the worst people to gamble with

Finally, if you want to become one of the worst people to gamble with, I present to you the Buge Hoobs Tour de Strip. We think it’s going to revolutionize Vegas, and that casinos will finally be able to afford to build that extra wing.

The rules of the Tour de Strip are quite simple:
Without any sleep, visit all 17 major casinos on the Strip
Spend at least 1 hour in each casino
Have at least 1 drink in each casino
Play a different game in consecutive casinos
Whoever has the most money at the end (or is still standing) wins!
Note: This may be modified to Tour de Strippers by substituting strip clubs for casinos and lap dances for gambling.

America’s Craziest Laws

Alabama
# Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
# Incestuous marriages are legal.
# It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
# It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone’s pity.
# It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
# Masks may not be worn in public
# Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
# Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
# You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
# You may not drive barefooted.
# You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Alaska
# In Alaska it is illegal to whisper in someone’s ear while they are moose hunting.
# Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time.
# While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

Arizona
# A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
# Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
# It is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
# It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
# Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
# There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
# You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
# Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse.
# Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.
# Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.
# Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
# Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
# Tucson: Women may not wear pants.

Arkansas
# A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
# Fayetteville: It is illegal to kill “any living creature”.
# It is illegal to buy or sell blue lightbulbs.
# It’s illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.
# Little Rock: Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.; Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term; It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday; No person shall sound the horn on a vehicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54
# The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

California
# A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits.
# Alhambra: You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
# Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
# A regulation in San Francisco makes it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash.
# Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
# Bathhouses are against the law.
# Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
# Burlingame: It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds; Carmel Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor); Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
# Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
# Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
# In Los Angeles courts it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
# In California it is illegal to have caller ID
# In California it’s against regulations to let phones ring more than nine times in state offices.
# In Los Angeles a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can’t be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife’s consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
# In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
# In Riverside, California, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance. (Someone needed to be kissed!)
# In San Francisco it’s illegal to play poker in public or gamble in a barricaded room.
# In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
# It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
# It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
# It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub
# It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
# Lodi: It is illegal to own or sell “Silly String”.
# Lompoc: It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
# Long Beach: Cars are the only item allowed in a garage; It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
# Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
# No alcohol beverages can be displayed within five feet of a cash register of any store in California that sells both alcohol and motor fuel.
# No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
# Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
# Riverside: One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o’clock.
# San Diego: It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar; The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.
# San Francisco bans any “mechanical device that reproduces obscene language.”
# San Jose: It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595
# Santa Monica: You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
# Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
# The city of San Francisco holds a copyright on the name “San Francisco.” It is illegal to manufacture any item with the name without first getting permission from the city. Since the Supreme Court upheld the copyright, San Francisco has had an annual $300 million surplus every year.

Colorado
# Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
# Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
# Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
# Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park; It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor; It is illegal to mistreat rats; You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
# It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver.
# Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes “unbecoming” on one’s sex.
# In Colorado it’s now legal to remove the furniture tags that say, “Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law.”
# In Denver, Colorado it is illegal for Barber’s to give massages to nude customers unless it is for instructional purposes.
# Logan County: It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
# It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
# It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

Connecticut
# A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut prohibits people from playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
# A pickle is not officially a pickle unless it bounces
# Balloons with advertising on them are illegal in Hartford, Conn.
# Bloomfield, Conn: It’s against the law to eat in your car.
# Devon: It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
# Guilford: Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
# Hartford: You aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands
# In colonial times, Hartford, Conn., had an ordinance that allowed any resident to rent the town chain for 2 pence.
# In Connecticut any dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police.
# In Connecticut it is illegal to pirouette while crossing the street.
# In Hartford, Conn., it’s illegal to plant a tree in the street.
# In Hartford, Connecticut, it is illegal to kiss your wife on Sunday.
# In Simsbury, Conn., it’s illegal for a politician to campaign at the town dump.
# It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.
# It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
# New Britain: It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
# No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.
# Waterbury: It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.
# You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
# You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.
# You may not educate dogs.

Delaware
# Delaware prohibits horse racing of any kind on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
# In Delaware it is illegal to get married on a dare.
# In Delaware you may not sell dead people for money without a license.
# It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

D.C.
# A D.C. federal judge has ruled that begging is a form of free speech protected by the Constitution. That means that mugging is free speech too, only more persuasive.
# In Washington D.C. it is illegal to post a notice in public which calls another person a ‘coward’ for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.
# It is unlawful for small boys to throw stones, at any time, at any place in the District of Columbia.
# The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
# The U.S. government says it’s a crime to give false weather reports.

#
Florida
# Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street.
# Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
# Daytona Beach: The molestation of trash cans is banned; While intoxicated, being under influence of narcotics is prohibited; It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired;
# Florida deals with its prostitution problem by giving prostitutes spending money, a five-year banishment, and a bus ticket out of town.
# Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay.
# Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.
# If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
# Failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.
# It is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.
# In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
# In Saratoga, Florida it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
# It is considered an offense to shower naked.
# It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday.
# Key West: Chickens are considered a ‘protected species’.
# Oral sex is illegal.
# You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
# Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
# Pensacola: Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person; It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel; A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.
# Pinecrest: In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained.
# Sanford Stage: Nudity is banned, with the exception of “bona fide” theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.
# Sarasota: If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00; You may not catch crabs.
# Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.
# Under a 1959 ordinance, stubborn children were considered vagrants in Jupiter Inlet Colony, Fla.
# When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
# Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.

Georgia
# Acworth: All citizens must own a rake.
# A Kennesaw, Ga. law makes it illegal for every homeowner not to own a gun, unless you are a convicted felon, conscientious objector or disabled.
# Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
# Atlanta: Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp; One man may not be on another man’s back.
# Columbus: Can’t cut off a chicken’s head on Sunday; It is illegal to carry a chicken by it’s feet down Broadway on Sunday.
# Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands.
# In Atlanta, Georgia, it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
# In Columbus, Georgia it is illegal to sit on one’s porch in an indecent position.
# In Georgia, movie houses that want to show films on Sunday must reserve one showing a month for religious material.
# It is illegal in Georgia to use profanity in the presence of a corpse.
# In Quitman, It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
# It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
# It is illegal to say “Oh, Boy” in Jonesboro.
# It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.
# Kennesaw: Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
# Marietta: Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.
# Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
# Signs are required to be written in English.
# St. Mary’s: No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.
# Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.

Hawaii
# Honolulu: Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird.
# In Hawaii it is illegal to get a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid unless in the presence of a registered physician.
# Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.
# It used to be the law in Hawaii that children had to obey all “lawful and moral” commands of their parents.
# It’s illegal for a shooting gallery to offer liquor as a prize. The shooter might want to come back after drinking the prize and try again.
# You will be fined if you do not own a boat.

Idaho
# It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
# If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
# Idaho Falls: If you’re 88 years of age or older, it’s illegal for you to ride your motorcycle.
# Idaho and other states allow members of the Native American church to use the hallucinogenic plant peyote in religious services.
# Walking along the street with a red-tipped cane is strictly prohibited.
# Non-married couples in Idaho who engage in sexual intercourse can be jailed for up to six months
# Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.
# You may not fish on a camel’s back.

Illinois
# “Dwarf-tossing,” the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits, is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it’s dangerous and exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with a special permit.
# A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
# It is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is “American”.
# Champaign: One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.
# Chicago: Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire; It is illegal to give a dog whiskey; Kites may not be flown within the city limits; Spitting is forbidden
# Cicero: Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
# Crete: It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one’s dog; Cars may not be driven through the town.
# Des Plaines: Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
# Eureka: A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
# Evanston: Bowling is forbidden; It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween; It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
# Fairfield: It is unlawful for “Negroes” to be within county boundaries from sundown to sunrise.
# Freeport: It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
# Galesburg: There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
# Homer: It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
# If the Rushville, Ill., city council doesn’t have a quorum, those sent can have the cops go out and arrest absent members and bring them to the meeting.
# In Illinois it is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer’s face.
# In Illinois, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
# In Chicago it is also illegal to take a French poodle to the opera, and for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts.
# In Chicago, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
# In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or “otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object” are banned from going out in public.
# In Oblong, it’s punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
# In Zion, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
# It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
# It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
# It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
# It’s not clear what this has done to the bar business, but a law in Chicago, makes it illegal to serve liquor to the feeble-minded.
# Kenilworth: A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow; Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.
# Kirkland: Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland’s streets.
# Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
# Moline: Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited; There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
# Morton Grove: You may not own a handgun
# Normal: It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
# Orland Park: No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
# Ottawa: Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
# Park Ridge: Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
# Peoria: Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.
# Pullman: It is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb; It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck; It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
# The English language is not to be spoken.
# Take some elocution lessons if you’re going to Joliet, Ill., where it’s against the law to mispronounce the city’s name. Offenders can be fined up to $500.
# The people in Manteno, Ill., do not want used facial tissue, period. Hence, you cannot “throw, drop or place” a used hankie “upon any public way or public place or upon the floor of any convenience or upon the floor of any theater, hall or assembly or public building or upon the surface or any lot or parcel of ground or on the roof on any building or in any light or air shaft, court or areaway.”
# You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
# You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of “eavesdropping” on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.

Indiana
# “Spiteful Gossip” and “talking behind a person’s back” are illegal.
# A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
# All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
# Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
# Auburn: It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one’s bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.
# Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
# Beech Grove: It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.
# Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.
# Citizens are not allowed to attend a cinema or theatre nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
# Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.
# Drinks on the house are illegal.
# Elkhart: It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid’s ears.
# Evansville: While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.
# Fort Wayne: You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record “It’s In the Book”.
# Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
# Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
# If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
# In Indiana it is illegal to sell laughing gas with the intent to induce laughter.
# In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.
# It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.
# Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.
# Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
# No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
# One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.
# Oral sex is illegal.
# Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
# Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
# State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.
# Taxpayers of Bainbridge, Ind., used to have to swear a solemn oath that the values they placed on their taxable property were the fair market values.
# Terre Haute: No one may spit on the sidewalk.
# The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415
# You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table; the waiter or waitress has to do it.
# You are required to pour your drink into a glass.
# You can get out of paying for a dependent’s medical care by praying for him/her.

Iowa
# A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
# An owner or employee of an establishment in Iowa that sells alcohol can’t legally consume a drink there after closing for business.
# Don’t plan on running a “tab” in Iowa; it’s illegal.
# Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.
# If a law enforcement officer is having a drink in a bar in Iowa and an employee pours water down the drain, the water is legally considered an alcohol beverage intended for unlawful purposes.
# In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.
# In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.
# Indianola: The “Ice Cream Man” and his truck are banned.
# It is illegal to hunt from an aircraft.
# It is illegal to accept a gratuity or tip in Iowa.
# Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
# One-armed piano players must perform for free.
# Ottumwa: Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.
# Riverboat gamblers in Iowa have a $5 maximum bet.
# The Iowa Legislature once passed a resolution ordering the state cafeteria to start serving cornbread.
# Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn’t allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you — or holding you in his arms.
# You may shoot Native Americans if there are more than five of them on your property at any one time.

Kansas
# If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
# In Kansas City, KS, saying the name “George Washington” without adding the phrase “blessed be his name,” can land you with a fine of up to fifty cents.
# In Natoma, Kansas, it’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suites.
# In Topeka, Kansas, servers are forbidden to serve wine in teacups.
# In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way.
# It is illegal to catch bullfrogs in a tomato patch.
# It is illegal to hunt whales.
# It is illegal to put ice cream on cherry pie in Kansas.
# Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to wear tail lights.
# Lawrence: All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. No one may wear a bee in their hat.
# Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
# No one may catch fish with his bare hands in Kansas.
# Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
# Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
# Russell: Musical car horns are banned
# Salina: It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.
# The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
# Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.
# Wichita: Before proceeding through the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehicle and fire three shot gun rounds into the air. Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas.

Kentucky
# A person can be sent to jail for five years for merely sending a bottle of beer, wine or spirits as a gift to a friend in Kentucky.
# An ordinance in Murray, Ky., says the superintendent of sanitation “shall determine whether a person is small, medium or large.” Why the superintendent should make this determination is left unsaid.
# A Kentucky statute says: “No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club.” Later, an amendment proposed: “The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than sixty pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses.”
# All nude people in your house must be registered in Kentucky.
# An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. “No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club”. The following important ammendment however is to be considered here: “The provisions of this statuate shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds,
# Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars.” – KRS 436.140
# Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).
# By law, anyone who has been drinking is “sober” until he or she “cannot hold onto the ground”.
# Each year, the mayor of Danville, Ky., must appoint “three intelligent housekeepers” to the Board of Tax Supervisors.
# Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman’s tie.
# In Danville, Ky., it’s illegal to throw slops or soapsuds in the street.
# In Kentucky, according to an old law, it’s illegal to use any kind of reptile in a religious service. It’s not certain if the law would withstand First Amendment scrutiny today.
# In Kentucky every citizen of is required to take a shower once a year.
# In Kentucky you need a license to walk around nude on your property.
# In Lexington, Kentucky, it’s illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.
# It is illegal in Kentucky to marry the same man more than 3 times.
# It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
# It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale
# It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
# It’s illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.
# Lexington: It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket. By law, anyone who has been drinking is “sober” until he or she “cannot hold onto the ground.”
# No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)
# No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)
# Owensboro: A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission. One may not receive anal sex. All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)

Louisiana
# An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
# Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault”, while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault”.
# Communism has been against the law in Haines City, La., since 1950.
# If you’ve ever been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, you’ll see the kings and queens on the various floats throwing plastic money, medallions and jewels to the crowd, but not food. It’s against the law to throw food from a float in the Mardi Gras festivities.
# It is against state law to steal even a single crawfish.
# It is illegal to gargle in public places.
# It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
# It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.
# It is illegal in Lafayette, Louisiana to play a musical instrument for the purpose of attracting attention, without a license.
# It’s legal to walk down the street with a drink in New Orleans, even to drive with a drink. But if you fall over and block the sidewalk, you’ve just broken the law.
# Louisiana law prohibits couples who are shopping for a new bed from putting it to the “ultimate test”– in other words, from trying it out by making love on it, or even simulating this activity.
# Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
# New Orleans: You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
# Rituals that involve the ingestion of blood, urine, or fecal matter are not allowed.
# Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
# Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
# You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

Maine
# After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
# In Augusta to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
# It’s illegal to clean salmon along Maine’s upper Kennebec River. Enforcement of this law has been made easier for many years by the fact that, because of a dam, there are no salmon on the upper Kennebec River.
# In Maine, it is illegal to sell a car on Sunday unless it comes equipped with plumbing.
# In Maine it’s illegal to catch lobsters with your bare hands.
# In Portland shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
# In Waterville, Maine, it is illegal to blow one’s nose in public.
# It’s unlawful to tickle a woman’s chin with a feather duster in Portland.
# Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
# Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
# You may not step out of a plane in flight.

Maryland
# Baltimore City: Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited. You may not curse inside the city limits.
# Baltimore: It’s illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies. It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898) -Park Rule 6 It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.
# Baltimore has regulations governing the disposal of hog’s heads, pet droppings and oyster shells.
# Columbia: You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish. Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
# Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
# Gypsies should steer clear of Caroline County, Md., where it’s a $100 fine or six months in the can for “forecasting or pretending to foretell the future.”
# In Baltimore it’s illegal to block the sidewalk with a box. But the offense only carries a $1 fine. Another law makes it illegal to throw bale of hay (or of anything else) out a second-story window. That gets you a $20 fine. In Baltimore it’s illegal to play professional croquet before 2 p.m. Sunday. The law also applies to professional quoits.
# In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.
# In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.
# In Baltimore, Maryland, it is not legal to take a lion to the movies.
# In Halethrope, Maryland kisses longer than one second are illegal.
# In Maryland, a woman may not go through her husband’s pockets while he is sleeping.
# In Maryland, men may not buy drinks for female bartenders.
# In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.”
# In Maryland, the legislature once proposed a board of parachute examiners to be made up of five licensed parachute instructors who would test and license all other parachute instructors. The plan had been abandoned when it was learned there were only three licensed parachute instructors in the state.
# In the entire state of Maryland, it is illegal to give or recieve oral sex.
# It is a violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine.
# It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.
# Maryland now requires that alcohol beverage writers be certified as experts by an agency of the state before they can receive product samples, which it limits to three bottles per brand.
# Ocean City: A law from the early 1900’s prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited
# Thistles may not grow in one’s yard.
# You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish.
# You cannot swear while inside the city limits of Baltimore.
# You cannot throw a bail of hay out of a second story window in Annapolis.
# You may not curse inside the city limits.

Massachusetts
# A Boston mayor who disliked dancing and liked to retire early once banned midnight dancing in the Hub City.
# A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
# Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
# Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.
# All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
# An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
# At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
# Boston: It is illegal to play the fiddle. Two people may not kiss in front of a church. No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city. No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears. Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except o Sundays. It is illegal to eat peanuts in church. An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday. Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present. Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common. No one may take a bath without a prescription. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.
# Both Massachusetts and New Hampshire had old laws that penalized gamblers who lost money. You’d get fined in Massachusetts if you had any money left.
# Bullets may not be used as currency.
# Burlington: You may not walk around with a “drink”.
# Cambridge: It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk. It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday.
# Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
# Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.
# Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
# Hingham: You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible. If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.
# Hopkinton: Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.
# Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
# Holyoke, Massachusetts, makes it unlawful to water your lawn when it is raining.
# In a law that predates returnable bottles and cans, it’s illegal in Boston to rummage through rubbish containers.
# In 1659 the state of Massachusetts outlawed Christmas.
# In Boston it’s illegal to post an advertisement on a public urinal. It’s also against the law to hang a vending machine on a utility pole.
# In Boston, it’s illegal to cut firewood in the street, or shoot a bow and arrow in the street.
# In Boston it’s against the law to keep manure in a building unless the building is being used as a stable. If it is, you can keep up to two cords of manure. If you’re overstocked, you need a permit to move the stuff. And you can’t leave it in the street.
# In Boston, Massachusetts it is illegal to take a bath unless instructed to do so by a physician.
# In Massachusetts, it is unlawful to deliver diapers on Sunday, regardless of emergencies.
# In Massachusetts you must have a license to wear a goatee.
# In Massachusetts, if you get caught eating peanuts in church , you can be jailed for up to one year.
# In Provincetown, Mass., it’s illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday.
# In Salem, Massachesetts sleeping in the nude in a rented room is forbidden, even for married couples.
# It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
# It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
# It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.
# It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost.
# It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.
# It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine
# It’s illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building.
# It’s illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road.
# It’s illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
# It’s illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
# It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.
# Longmeadow: It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.
# Marlboro: It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun. Silly string is illegal in the city limits. One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city. It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.
# Massachusetts law declares that peanuts may not be eaten in court.
# Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
# Milford: Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
# Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
# Newton: All families must be given a hog from the town’s mayor.
# No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
# North Andover: An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.
# Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.
# Public boxing matches are outlawed.
# Quakers and witches are banned.
# Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
# Southbridge, Massachusetts, makes it illegal to read books or newspapers after 8 p.m. in the streets.
# Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
# Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
# There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the month of April.
# Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
# Under an old law in Marblehead, Mass., it was illegal to cross the street on Sunday, unless absolutely necessary.
# Woburn: In bars, it is illegal to “walk around” with a beer in your hand.
# You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25′ satellite dish.
# You may not curse inside the city limits.
# You may not, at any time take a crap on your neighbour.

Michigan
# A Michigan law states that a wife’s hair legally belongs to her husband.
# A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
# Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
# In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
# In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property.
# In Detroit, Michigan it is illegal to sleep in a bathtub.
# In Rochester, Michigan, anyone bathing in public must have his or her bathing suit inspected by a police officer.
# It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
# It is illegal to loiter in the city morgue in Detroit.
# It’s illegal in Michigan for a person under the age of 21 to give a gift of alcohol beverage to anyone, even to a person of legal age.
# Permitting diners to take home an unfinished bottle of alcohol beverage, rather than consuming it all before leaving to prevent “waste,” encourages moderation and discourages intoxication. However, this is prohibited in Michigan.
# Smoking while in bed is illegal.
# The use of the names of dead presidents to sell alcohol in Michigan is prohibited.
# Under an 1889 law, the health officer of East Jordan, Mich., could send any nonresident with an infectious disease back to where he came from, as long as the person could travel. If not, the officer could rent a house for use as a pest house.
# You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Minnesota
# A Blue Earth, Minnesota, law declares that no child under the age of twelve may talk over the telephone unless monitored by a parent.
# A Minnesota tax form is quite thorough. Some would say too thorough. It even asks for your date of death.
# A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
# A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
# All bathtubs must have feet.
# All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
# Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
# Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
# Clawson: There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
# Every man in Brainerd, Minnesota is required by law to grow a beard.
# Grand Haven: No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
# Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
# Harper Woods: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
# Hibbing: It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat.
# In Duluth, Minnesota it is illegal to allow animals to sleep in a bakery.
# In Minnesota, it’s illegal to tease skunks. (As if being sprayed weren’t enough of a deterrent.)
# It is illegal to sleep naked.
# It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
# It used to be legal in Minnesota to sell rolled candy on Sunday, and illegal to sell flat candy. The wafer people have gotten this one repealed.
# Minneapolis: Red cars can not drive down Lake Street
# Minnesota has repealed its so-called “Twinkie” law, under which a Minneapolis City Council candidate was indicted for dispensing $34 worth of Twinkies, Ho-Hos, cookies, Kool-Aid and coffee to some senior citizens.
# Minnesotans are forbade from teasing skunks.
# No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
# Oral sex is prohibited.
# Public intoxication is a crime in Pennsylvania but specifically not a crime in Minnesota.
# Rochester: All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. Smoking while in bed is illegal.
# St. Cloud: Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
# There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat’s head brought into a town office.
# Virginia: You’re not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street.
# Wayland: Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
# You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan. Kalamazoo: It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

Mississippi
# Adultery or Fornication (living together while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
# Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
# Columbus: The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
# Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
# In Brandon, Mississipi it is illegal to attempt to stop someone from walking down the sidewalk by parking a motorhome in their path.
# In Temperance, MS, you can’t walk a dog without dressing it in diapers.
# In Oxford, Miss., it’s illegal to “create unnecessary noises.”
# It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
# It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
# Oxford: It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session. One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square. Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited. Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
# Tylertown: It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.
# Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
# Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
# Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine.

Missouri
# Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal possession of alcohol in Missouri.
# Buckner: In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
# Children can buy shotguns in Kansas City, Missouri… but not toy cap guns.
# Excelsior Springs: Hard objects may not be thrown by hand. Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
# Four women may not rent an apartment together.
# Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
# In Ballwin, Mo., the only place you can use vulgar, obscene or indecent language is in your home.
# In Merryville women are prohibited from wearing corsets because “the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.”
# In Springfield, door to door salesman are prohibited from selling their goods while standing in the middle of the road, screaming at passing vehicles.
# In St. Louis, it’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
# In St. Louis, a law on the books makes it illegal to park your car without turning off the engine. This was to avoid scaring horses.
# It is illegal to have oral sex.
# It is not illegal to speed.
# It’s illegal to sit on any street curb in St. Louis, Missouri, and drink beer from a bucket.
# Kansas City: Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
# Marceline: Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
# Marquette: It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).
# Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
# Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols; they may buy shotguns freely, however.
# Mole: Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
# Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
# Purdy: Dancing is strictly prohibited.
# St. Louis: It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets. A milk man may not run while on duty.
# University City: Four women may not rent an apartment together.

Montana
# It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
# It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
# In Billings, Montana it is illegal for employees of the city’s communications center to program their phones with speed dial.
# Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
# It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime in Montana.
# Bozeman has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown — if they’re nude.
# Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
# It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
# It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
# It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
# It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
# Excelsior Springs: Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
# Helena: No item may be thrown across a street.
# Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
# Salisbury: Pop bottles are not to be thrown on the ground.
# Whitehall: It is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
# Montana just legalized the production of caviar.

Nebraska
# A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
# A parent can be arrested if her/his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
# Barbers are forbidden by law from shaving a man’s chest in Omaha, Nebraska.
# If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
# In the fine state of Nebraska, it is not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing.
# It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
# It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
# It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
# It is illegal to sleep naked in a hotel/ motel room.
# Lehigh: Doughnut holes may not be sold
# Omaha: Sneezing or burping is illegal during a church service.
# The owner of every hotel in Hastings is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
# Waterloo: Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.

Nevada
# A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
# Clark County: An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.
# Elko: Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
# Eureka: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
# In Eureka, Nevada men who have mustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
# In Las Vegas, Nevada: It’s against the law to pawn your dentures.
# In Las Vegas you can bet on any team–except The University of Nevada at Las Vegas.
# In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
# In Nevada until the 1960s it was illegal to sell liquor at religious camp meetings, within a half-mile of the state prison, in the State Capitol Building or to imbeciles.
# In Reno, Nevada staging a marathon dance is illegal, although posting a notice on a fire hydrant about illegal dance marathons is not.
# In the old days in Nevada a man caught beating his wife was tied to a stake for eight hours a day with a sign that read, “Wife Beater” fastened to his chest.
# It’s illegal in Nevada to have a “house of ill fame” within 400 yards of a church or school.
# It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
# It is illegal in Reno, Nevada to conceal a spray-painted shopping cart in your basement.
# It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
# Nyala: A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
# Saloonkeepers had to post the names of habitual drunkards if so requested by the local sheriff or members of the imbibers’ immediate families.

New Hampshire
# Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
# If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ”maintaining the national forest without a permit”.
# In New Hampshire it is illegal to inhale bus fumes with the intent of inducing euphoria.
# In New Hampshire you are prohibited from pawning the clothes off your back to pay off gambling debts.
# It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
# It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
# New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
# On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
# White Mountain Nat. Forest: If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ”maintaining the national forest without a permit”.
# You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
# You may not run machinery on Sundays.

New Jersey
# Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
# Bernards Township: It is illegal to frown as the town is a “Frown-Free Town Zone”.
# Caldwell: You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.
# Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
# Cranford: Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.
# Cresskill: All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
# Elizabeth: It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.
# If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
# In Berkley Heights you may not walk your cattle on the street on Sunday.
# In Newark it is illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 p.m.
# In New Jersey it is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
# In New Jersey, it is illegal to slurp soup.
# It’s illegal in New Jersey for parents to give their children under the age of 18 even a sip of alcohol.
# It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
# It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
# It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
# It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
# It’s also illegal in this state to throw a bad pickle on the street.
# Lovers in Liberty Corner should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
# Manville: It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.
# Newark: It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.
# Ocean City: People may not slurp their soup. Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday. Raw hamburger may not be sold.
# On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
# Raritan: Profanity is prohibited.
# Raw hamburger may not be sold.
# Sea Isle City: There will be no boiling of bones on the property.
# There is no horse racing allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike.
# Trenton: You may not throw a bad pickle in the street. Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.
# Unless you have a doctor’s note, it’s illegal to buy ice cream after 6 PM in Newark, New Jersey.
# You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.
# You may not slurp your soup.

New Mexico
# A city council member in Albuquerque, N.M., introduced a resolution a few years ago to ban Santa Claus from the city. The matter was defeated.
# Carrizozo: It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
# Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
# In Albuquerque, New Mexico it is illegal for cab drivers to reach out and pull potential customers into their cabs.
# In Carlsbad it’s legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
# In recent years, several efforts have been made to legalize camel racing and ostrich racing in New Mexico, but to no avail. Those bills were defeated, but the legislature recently allowed gambling on bicycle races.
# It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
# Las Cruces: You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
# State officials ordered 400 words of “sexually explicit material” to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

The Bermuda Triangle

001 The Bermuda TriangleThe Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil’s Triangle, is a region of the northwestern Atlantic Ocean in which a number of aircraft and surface vessels have disappeared in what are said to be circumstances that fall beyond the boundaries of human error or acts of nature. Some of these disappearances have been attributed to the paranormal, a suspension of the laws of physics, or activity by extraterrestrial beings by popular culture.
An explanation for some of the disappearances has focused on the presence of vast fields of methane hydrates on the continental shelves. Laboratory experiments carried out in Australia have proven that bubbles can, indeed, sink a scale model ship by decreasing the density of the water. Airplanes may also be susceptible to any freak methane releases. Methane also has the ability to cause a piston engine to stall when released into the atmosphere, even at an atmospheric concentration as low as 1%.
An explanation for some of the disappearances pinned the blame on left-over technology from Atlantis. Reputed psychic Edgar Cayce claimed that evidence for Atlantis would be discovered just off Bimini in 1968. New Agers view the Bimini Road as either a road, wall, or pier meant to service ships bound for Atlantis from Central and South America, or a breakwater built to protect fishing boats.002 The Bermuda Triangle
The wall may also have a natural origin. Some theorists claim extraterrestrials are the reason of disappearances by abducting ships and aircraft. This was given a boost when topics like ESP, telekinesis, clairvoyance, and the like flowered in the middle-to-late 1960s, and was used as storylines for popular films like Close Encounters of the Third Kind and The UFO Incident.
The proponents of this theory state that the many ships and planes entered a time warp to a different time or dimension on the other side, meaning that their crews could still be alive there, living new lives in another time period of the past or the future – or even possibly in a parallel universe. Usually, the ship or aircraft in the story enters this dimension by way of a cloud. This has been a popular subject in science fiction.

Mind Control

Most of human history has been a series of efforts by some humans to control what other humans think. When this effort doesn’t take the form of a dominant organized Religion, we call it “mind control” and officially designate it as “bad.”

Cults and Secret Societies have used simple brainwashing techniques for as long as anyone can remember.

mindmesmergd3 Mind Control

The word “assassin,” for instance, is Arabic for “user of hashish.” The original assassins were an 11th Century Islamic cult of killers called the Nizari, who were promised the glories of martydom (not unlike their modern equivalents). Their leader offered a preview of the paradise to come, visions allegedly delivered via large doses of hash. In India, highly secretive cults flourished for centuries in the names of some of the more violent deities such as Kali. [Read more…]

Secret Archives of the Vatican

vaticansecret7 Secret Archives of the Vatican

You would think that the Vatican’s Secret Archives would be some dumb conspiracy theory. I mean, it sounds ridiculous. The Vatican’s Secret Archives. Let it roll off your tongue. Surely, we’re into serious conspiracy weirdness here.

Except, of course, that there really is such a thing. And it’s pretty much exactly what you think it is.

There are a lot of reasons for an organization like the Catholic Church to have Secret Archives. After all, they’ve been in the conspiracy business for millennia longer than Majestic-12. They’ve been in the disinformation business for about 18 times as long as Donald Rumsfeld has been alive. They were taking secret vows when the Masons were just a bunch of architects. And they have more to hide that Richard M. Nixon on his worst day.

The Catholic Church first officially started keeping a library around the fourth century. Formed at the height of the first great heresy craze, the contents of this library included a lot of attacks on heretical branches of Christianity and the documents and scriptures used by these heretical branches (which the Church fathers admitted to having read).

The entire contents of the pre-eighth century archives, presumably including all these fascinating heresies, mysteriously disappeared, according to the Vatican’s official account of the library’s history, “for reasons not entirely known.”

The library was strictly closed to the public until around the 15th century, when the church decided to open its contents for the masses. OK, not all of the contents. Starting in the fourth century, the Catholic Church, in a position of political power for the first time, had been ruthlessly suppressing what it saw as heresy: [Read more…]

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