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Self Improvement Advice from the Devil

devil Self Improvement Advice from the Devil

1 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.

2 – Half the people you know are below average.

3 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

4 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

6 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

7 – The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

8 – If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

9 – Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

10 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

11 – Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

12 – Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

13 – I intend to live forever……so far, so good.

14 – Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

15 – If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

16 – A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

17 – Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

18 – The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

19 – The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

Comments

  1. Classic advice. 10 – When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

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