Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
1 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.
2 – Half the people you know are below average.
3 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
4 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5 – A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
6 – A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
7 – The early bird [...]
Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
The Laity and Deliverance
HOW DO DELIVERANCE PRAYERS DIFFER FROM EXORCISM PRAYERS?
Today solemn exorcism is limited to the priest who prays in the name of the church. There are three requirements in order for this rite to be performed; the person must be possessed, a priest must perform the exorcism, and finally an exorcism could only be performed with the permission of the bishop (see signs of [...]
Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
Alabama
# Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
# Incestuous marriages are legal.
# It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
# It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone’s pity.
# It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
# Masks may not be worn in public
# Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.
# Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable [...]
Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the [...]
Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
Coca Cola (the real one) is not only great to drink, it also has many uses around the home.
This list of uses was tested on ordinary, original Coca Cola, not the diet kind, or any of the variations there are available.
1. Cleaned a burned saucepan by pouring Coke into it and boiling. This takes out all the staining.
2. It’s easy to make a modern photograph look like an old sepia one. Just lightly [...]
Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
The Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil’s Triangle, is a region of the northwestern Atlantic Ocean in which a number of aircraft and surface vessels have disappeared in what are said to be circumstances that fall beyond the boundaries of human error or acts of nature. Some of these disappearances have been attributed to the paranormal, a suspension of the laws of physics, or activity by [...]
Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
If it weren’t for luck, or lucky accidents, none of these products would exist today. The following ten products were all discovered as a result of pure accidents. Where would we be today without some of these great products?
1.
Potato Chips – Discovered: Saratoga Springs, New York
Chef George Crum made the interesting discovery of potato chips after a customer complained to him about [...]
Posted by rappin on December 30, 2008 ·
Stage #1 — Smart
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You
know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who
will listen. At this stage you are also always right. And of course
the person you are talking with is very wrong. You will talk for
hours trying to convince someone that you are right. This makes for an
interesting argument when both parties [...]
Posted by rappin on December 28, 2008 ·
God created the Earth in seven days, literally and exactly seven 24-hour days. And if you don’t like it, you can go to hell. That is, you can literally go to hell.
In all the world’s rich panoply of religious and spiritual pursuits, there’s nothing quite so inspiring as watching people desperately tie their entire view of the moral universe to an idea that’s obviously wrong. [...]
Posted by rappin on December 28, 2008 ·
replace_date('1:25 PM');
Either Michel de Nostredame wrote the ultimate literary Rorschach test, or else Nostradamus accurately predicted the future course of civilization until its ultimate end. Or as the Straight Dope’s Uncle Cecil puts it:
There are two schools of thought on Nostradamus: either (1) he had supernatural powers which enabled him to prophesy the future with uncanny accuracy, [...]